Fantasy Debutante Commissioner's Blog

January 31, 2012

Calm down, people!

Filed under: Uncategorized — The Commissioner @ 2:05 pm

Apollo updates have been posted. Sorry to keep y’all waiting. Won’t let it happen again. (Maybe)

Talk about “panties in a bunch!” See what you started, Ms. Betsy?!

January 30, 2012

Oooops! Forgot about Olympians!

Filed under: Uncategorized — The Commissioner @ 1:42 pm

Sorry! Congrats to Queen Charlotte and her lovely maid, Miss Viator. They were somehow (scotch) left off of the last points update. The Commish will get those scores fixed and on the site as soon as possible.

Both ladies looked lovely in a penalty-free performance. (I think even Bathurst, himself, will be pleased with the well coifed, real hair in use at this ball! Though he IS notoriously difficult to please.)

    UPDATE:

Site scores and rankings have now been updated. Sorry for the late updates.

    UPDATE AGAIN:


Penalties…..penalties…..penalties
YIKES!!!!

January 29, 2012

Grand Ball of Osiris

Filed under: Uncategorized — The Commissioner @ 11:34 am

Miss Beer reigned over the Palace of the Sun last night in what The Commissioner has been told was a truly exceptional event. Reports have been slow to trickle in purportedly due to a late and thoroughly enjoyable evening for those in attendance.

More important than any of this is how the crowning of Miss Beer and the selection of her First Maid, Miss Marguerite Parke Ellis, have propelled both the Neptunes and the Twelfth Night Rebels into a whole new level of Fantasy Deb ass kicking. The Commish is not totally surprised by this as, quite frankly, the ‘Tunes were on fire during the Chestnut Division Draft. Former champ, Biddy….. a once formidable opponent now embarrassingly sports the lowest score in the league. That’s just plain sad……and EXCEPTIONALLY funny. The Commissioner was REALLY bummed about the loss of Fleur-Deb-Lis (aka The Chalmation Nation) this season. Who would She relentlessly ridicule for drafting technique so poor it defied reason? Thank you, Biddy. That suckfest you call a team has brought renewed joy to The Commish’s cold, dead heart!

Now…… about those Rebels……. SMOKIN’!!!! What say you, Have Another?!

January 28, 2012

Northshore Sustainer – LaSallian Team to Beat

Filed under: Uncategorized — The Commissioner @ 9:56 am

Despite a double crowning this morning for the FiDebs, Northshore Sustainer remains comfortably in the lead for the LaSallians. With only one crown in place for this team so far, a score of 595 is unbelievable. Just goes to show you…… NEVER laugh at a lady who brings color-coded index cards to the draft!

While The Commissioner suspects that neither of these teams will score a Queen for Osiris tonight, history has OFTEN shown that The Commish has NO idea what She is talking about.

Seriously. NO idea.

January 23, 2012

It’s BAGNERIS for Young Men Illinois Club!!

Filed under: Uncategorized — The Commissioner @ 6:43 am

In a Fantasy Debutante first, the Chestnut Division’s Neptunes broke with tradtion, threw caution to the wind and selected Miss Bagneris in the FOURTH round. It looks as if this move has paid off for the ‘Tunes as YMIC has already announced plans to crown Miss Bagneris this season.

In an UNBELIEVABLE show of foresight, BOTH The Redneck Royals and Signum FiDeb also selected Miss Bagneris in their respective drafts. (Yes, that is celebratory screaming you hear coming from the bowels of Metry.)

It seems the Bagneris secret was well out of the bag as she was also picked up by Northshore Sustainer, Lakeview Levees, Crown Royal, and not one but TWO e-Division teams…… the reigning champs, Have Another….. and the darlings of the e-Division world, Twelfth Night Rebels.

This crown is most definitely a game changer considering scoring rule changes implemented by The Commissioner following the 2010-2011 season. But those teams who selected Miss Dabney shouldn’t throw in the towel yet. Her name was suspiciously absent from the YMIC announcement. Could she be the OIC Queen? Time will tell.

    Update:

Please note that League Rules do not allow for elevated scoring beyond that of First Maid. Subsequent maids will all be scored equally. By the way, The Commish finds it exceedingly annoying that YMIC insists on ranking and numbering maids. Strangely though….. they have never bothered to ask for Her opinion.

January 22, 2012

This just in….

Filed under: Uncategorized — The Commissioner @ 1:28 am

An “intimate” of Her Royal Commishness has just dropped by and promised a complete “blow-by-blow” of tonight’s unprecedented Caliphs Extravaganza. Stay tuned for all of the inside deets (that’s right! I said, “deets!” I’m all jiggy now. Deal with my coolness.)

What The Commish CAN reveal now is that it was an unexpected and unbelievable night in SO many ways. There are people who through ……what seems to them to be such a small gesture…… make such a HUGE difference in another’s life.

Deus Providebit.

KARA freakin’ MANN?!

Filed under: Uncategorized — The Commissioner @ 12:51 am

Are you kidding me?!

OK……the Commissioner is hyperventilating……so give her a second to organize her thoughts. It’s been quite a night.

Deep breaths.

Seriously. Did the Caliphs just crown Caroline-Something with a K, I can’t think right now because I’ve been drinking and a totally weird queen thing just happened, Ellen Mann……..the 2011 deb…… as their 2012 Queen?!

Somebody call Schrodinger! I am SO in a parallel universe!

How is that scored? Do teams with the foresight to draft Miss Mann LAST year get points? Should The Commissioner now open drafting up to ANY deb previously appearing in the Coterie….REGARDLESS of age. (FYI: Bathurst has ALREADY requested that both nee’ Nalty twins be admitted for draft by the Brigade for 2013! It’s total Cotlillion Anarchy around here!!)

January 19, 2012

Faux Debutantes?

Filed under: Uncategorized — The Commissioner @ 7:17 am

What gives with these Debu-nots featured in the TP on Wednesday? The Commissioner is relatively sure that the temporary blindness she is currently experiencing has been caused by the reflective sheen off of some decidedly NON-kid leather gloves! Could it be stretch sateen? Please say it isn’t so.

Glove and hair penalties all around, ladies.

January 11, 2012

Gold Tent…..

Filed under: Uncategorized — The Commissioner @ 2:06 pm

Hmmmmmmm…….. Whatever could THAT mean, Miss Bright?

With hints like that flying around, The Commissioner believes it is time to officially close the e-Division. If you have not already entered your team, please do so today. Submission Forms will be removed from the site tonight.

Also…. Is The Commissioner correct in assuming that everyone has pretty much figured out the Big Two? (Well……of course She means everyone except for Signum FiDeb and Redneck Royalty….. who won’t likely catch on until Shrove Tuesday!) Should we just skip the poll this year?

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